FW: Laugh for the Day

 

 

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From: John Thumm [mailto:thummj@comcast.net]
Sent: Saturday, July 16, 2011 4:52 PM
To: WAYNE LIVINGSTON
Subject: Fwd: Laugh for the Day

 

 

 

Begin forwarded message:

From: Rosemary Penderghest <rpenderghest@gmail.com>

Date: July 11, 2011 4:04:40 PM EDT

To: thummj@comcast.net

Subject: Fwd: Fw: Laugh for the Day

 

 

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Rosemary Penderghest <rpenderghest@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jul 11, 2011 at 4:03 PM
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Laugh for the Day
To: george.weiss3@yahoo.com

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Ron Keller <rkeller2700@yahoo.com>
Date: Sun, Jul 10, 2011 at 11:00 AM
Subject: Fw: Laugh for the Day

To: RPenderghest@gmail.com

 

 

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: David Eodice <eodice.d@windstream.net>
To: Jan Willson <jmtaylorco@aol.com>; Nancy Uzar <graceontheway@yahoo.com>; Tony <walleyeman0@yahoo.com>; Mel Thomas <captmelthomas@aol.com>; Sharlene <sharlene13@windstream.net>; Debbie Nigro <dnigro46@yahoo.com>; Jean Mozolic <jean.mozolic@comcast.net>; Joanne Mercier <jobomerc@aol.com>; Elinore McNutt <yorkees@hughes.net>; Ron Keller <rkeller2700@yahoo.com>; Pat Keller <pkeller601@yahoo.com>; Bill Kaminski <billkam@hotmail.com>; Donald Eodice <don.eodice@psba.org>; Rosanne England <teacup77@sbcglobal.net>; Richard England <ricoengland@hotmail.com>; Dave England <vyneentertainment@gmail.com>; Dellane & James <Deljam1123@aol.com>; Jim A Buck <jamesbuck1@comcast.net>
Sent: Sat, July 2, 2011 6:06:26 PM
Subject: Fw: Laugh for the Day



 

Man Rules    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story ( I must admit, it's pretty good)   We always hear 'the rules'  From the female side Now here are the rules from the male side   These are our rules! Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!     1.   Men are NOT mind readers. 1.    Learn to work the toilet seat.   You're a big girl.   If it's up, put it down.   We need it up, you need it down.   You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1.    Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it be. 1.    Crying is blackmail, and witchcraft 1.    Ask for what you want.   Let us be clear on this one!  Subtle hints do not work!  Strong hints do not work!  Obvious hints do not work!   Just say it! 1.    Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.. 1.   Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.   That's what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1.    Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument..  In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.  1.    If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us. 1.    If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.  1.   You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.   Not both.   If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.  1.    Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1.    Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1.    ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.   Pumpkin is also a fruit.   1.    If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that. 1.    If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.   1.    If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.  1.   When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!  1.    Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or golf. 1.    You have enough clothes.  1.   You have too many shoes. 1.    I am in shape.  Round IS a shape! 1.   Thank you for reading this.   Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that?   It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh..  Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.     =